by Benjamin Ong

1. The shot-glass is a misleading institution, for though it appears to facilitate the rapid consumption of a liquid, we would submit that its utility lies only in measurement and impressing upon the drinker the delicacy of the beverage (for it is so small as to call attention to its smallness).

2. For vodka, whiskey, etc. do not exist merely as a mechanism of delivery for ethanol; even if they do not taste ‘nice’ per se (whatever that may mean), they must carry communicative value, and are therefore to be, if not enjoyed or appreciated, at least read, though the content be bad (for bad beverages are not to be consumed at all).

3. Again, though the shot-glass may exist for measurement, it should only do so insofar as it facilitates precise mixing or monitoring. More generally, the size of any container of a comestible, such as a disposable plastic bowl of bean curd or a plate of chicken rice, should not be read as dictating that a certain quantity be consumed; it is, first and foremost, merely a container.

4. For the utility gained by consumption eventually becomes a function of something other than volume; it is only at the lowest levels of subsistence that we gulp rather than read.